three
When I am arranging a date with a man, and we have spent some time discussing his preferences and what he likes in sex, a few of them will ask, ‘But what about you? What turns you on?’ To which my reply is always, ‘Pleasing you’.
‘But don’t you want to cum? What can I do to make you cum?’ I generally refrain from replying, ‘Spit on my face and slap me around a bit. Call me a queer pansy and a tranny whore, a cum bucket, a cunt, a slave’.
For that would be selfish of me. I’m trained enough as a sex slave to know better than to ask for anything at all.
Like all sissies, I do love orgasms and I can be a chronic masturbator but I see that as being something that lies outside my brief when I am with a man. My job as a sissy is to provide pleasure for men. Thinking of myself would only detract from my essential task. I would be distracted and end up giving him less than total commitment. I’ll happily jerk my sissy clitty later with happy memories of the session! Or, even better, learn to have a sissy orgasm without touching myself (which has only happened once). Though for that to happen, my sissy clit would have to be hard and to get hard once again suggests a loss of focus on my part.
So it is that some guys are surprised when they see that my sissy clit is not fully erect or erect at all while I service them. I assure them that this is perfectly normal and a sign that I am really giving them what they want and what they want is what they get. I encourage them to be selfish, to direct me to perform exactly as they want, to let go and bring out any and all fantasies for me to fulfil. I am a blank page for them to write on.
For some, I am simply a cum dumpster – they arrive, we get down to sex right away and as soon as they have cum, they are out the door. I am perfectly happy with that and get a real feeling of submissiveness from it. Others will stay and chat and tell me that sex is so boring with their wives, or has all but disappeared, because the wives will not ‘put out’ or don’t like giving blow jobs, or don’t like anal. I assure them that this is what sissies are for – to be compliant, submissive, focused, and technically expert at what they do. When a guy tells me that I have just given him the best blow job of his life – and that has happened a fair number of times – then I feel I have done the job I am meant to do.
I have had guys recommend me to straight friends of theirs, who have never dreamed of having sex with a sissy before. Straight guys are easily converted! One confessed that if I did not mind he would prefer I wear panties throughout as he didn’t want to see my sissy clit – he just wanted the sensations to wash over him. I keep myself shaved, behave only as a sissy, wear sexy lingerie – he loved all that. But when he shot his load down my throat, he flew out the door and I recognised someone sadly imprinted with society’s shame at breaking out of the heteronormative mould. To give him his due, a few days later he wrote me a lovely email apologising for his abrupt departure and asking for a return visit if I would forgive him. I soon disabused him of the notion that forgiveness was necessary.
I’ll be honest and confess that I am not so happy with men who want to play with or suck my sissy clitty or want me to fuck them. In my mind I am a woman when I am engaged on sissy service and I want to be used as a woman. I have sissy girlfriends but I won’t have sex with them. I only have sex with guys and I prefer that they treat me totally as a sextoy. My preference always is for dominant men who will use me totally for their pleasure. But I am trained in submission so I do what I am told even if really I don’t like taking on the functions of a man – and I really, really don’t!
